It is a well-known fact that Canadians are evil. However, as the great Bill O’Reilly pointed out, they are just as vulnerable as the French. But is boycotting their products enough? And what if you’re a patriot who has the misfortune to actually be Canadian?
I am most gratified to learn that there is now a campaign urging patriots to renounce their Canadian citizenship. I wasn’t aware until today that the Canadian prime minister is a space telescope. And I hadn’t realized that Queen Elizabeth was quite so old. But I know these things now and I wholeheartedly support this campaign:
The Canadian government led by Hubble, using human rights as a pretext, consistently adopts policies that are hostile to China. He has met the Dalai Lama, supported Tibetan independence and now refuses to attend the Olympic Games opening ceremony that symbolizes world peace. The Canadian mainstream media, represented by CBC, and public opinion have taken the opportunity of the Olympic torch relay to shamelessly slander our beloved motherland, the People’s Republic of China. As descendants of Yandi and the Yellow Emperor, we absolutely cannot tolerate this anymore.
We hereby solemnly proclaim the establishment of the “Return to the Motherland Action Committee.” We appeal to everyone to unite, and collectively renounce our Canadian citizenship or permanent residency and solemnly revoke our naturalization pledge to show our contempt and strong protest against the Canadian government!
Canada is a member of the British Commonwealth. When you were naturalized, you pledged wholehearted loyalty to the British Queen and royal heirs. Standing beneath the maple leaf flag and facing the Lord Chancellor, you pledged: “I swear (or affirm) that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, Queen of Canada, Her Heirs and Successors.”
The British Queen is the chief representative of Western colonialism. She brazenly launched the two Opium Wars against the Chinese nation, cut up our land, destroyed our homeland and humiliated our great nation in every possible way. As a true patriot, you must revoke your pledge by renouncing your Canadian citizenship, otherwise you are a disloyal descendant of the Chinese nation. Perhaps you have never taken this pledge seriously, or really did not know what you had said. If that is the case, your words are like worthless rubbish and you have no business shouting till you are blue in the face that you love China.
Back to Our Motherland was registered by someone going by the name of Peter Lee of Toronto on April 17. However, it was a Peter Wu who apparently contacted the Canadian-Chinese website info.51.ca to publicize his cause. Mr. Wu (or Mr. Lee) said he was from Hebei and had been in Canada for ten years. He wanted to tell the April 13 demonstrators that he supported them, but only if they adopted his proposal. April 13 organizers appear to have welcomed his patriotic zeal, but did not think this was a particularly practical idea.
Mr. Wu/Lee’s clarion call elicited a somewhat mixed response on the Montreal-based website Sino-Quebec. One netizen was worried about the paperwork and procedures, but otherwise thoroughly supported the idea. Another called Mr. Wu a “stupid [censored]” and quoted Jiang Zemin’s famous rebuke to the Hong Kong media: “too simple, sometimes naive.” Others suspected a conspiracy, possibly by Tibetan separatists or Canadian intelligence. Or maybe Mr. Wu/Lee just wanted to avoid paying his taxes.
So is this campaign real? No one seems to know. But when the line between reality, parody and possible sabotage becomes so blurred, it might be a sign that things are going just a little bit too far.
See also: Mutant Palm, Blood and Treasure, Amoist, Lian Yue and Hecaitou.
10 Comments
“you must revoke your pledge by renouncing your Canadian citizenship, otherwise you are a disloyal descendant of the Chinese nation” — This is certainly an extreme version, but I’ve heard this kind of idea voiced in much less crazier contexts, for example, Chinese friends have become angry when a Chinese-American (who has grown up in the States) describes himself as American instead of Chinese. It is striking how often American nationalism — though certainly not always — is based on diversity, whereas in Han nationalism, the focus is almost always on race.
I find it funny when Chinese say minorities get so many advantages of the Han majority. Mostly because there is a state law that Han, according to my Chinese wife, are the only people allowed to hold the highest seats in the Chinese government.
I would be extremely surprised if such a law existed, Barney. I’ve certainly never heard of it. There is a discrepancy between laws which stress ethnic equality and practice which often fails to achieve that stated goal. But that’s a different thing altogether.
I would expect such a discriminatory law to be at the top of this quite critical appraisal of China’s ethnic policy - much of which I agree with, though some seems a little odd given Western policy on the same issues (eg. the complaint that Sharia law is not implemented in Xinjiang).
Thank you for the link, black & white cat. It’s quite funny. I think the oversea Chinese love China better than those live in China mainland. Canada is a free country, if someone wants to give up his/her citizenship, he can give it up at any time or even privately. They don’t have to renounce the Canadian citizenship, if they don’t want the citizenship, just go back to China at any moment!
Quebec is and has always been part of the empire. Bonk Bonk on the head to any quebec splittists. The 100 years war and the 30 years war will not ever be forgotten, no matter how the sino-french clique try to spin this with the evil eastern media. I call for all loyal britons to protest the IOC and their partners the CCTV trying to make french the official language of the 2008 olympics. the official language is english. no french bread will be served this august only fish and chips, bonk bonk on the head to the traitor’s and biased media stay out of the internal affairs of the british empire.
This is one of the odder things to come out of the Tibet-Olympics-Protests. I wonder if the Daily Show will have a segment on it.
I can’t see how that would be a bad thing for Canada. Anyone wanted to stay is welcome, anyone wishing to leave should piss off back to China and enjoy the pollution.
It makes me so angry when people emigrate and than carp on about the old country.
Many Chinese-Canadians are “citizens of convenience”. They hold passports but rarely reside in Canada. So no big deal if they renounce citizenship.
But we should be thinking of ways to force Chinese-Canadiens to contribute back to our economy. Most of them are fabulously wealthy. Investment is always welcome, especially in Quebec
Come on, guys. This is most obviously satire within the Chinese community.
What I really like is the bit at the end of the website where it basically says, “If you followed the instructions above, congratulations! You’re now a stateless person. Now just bear with us while we wait for the Chinese embassy [which obviously thinks we’re crazy] to get back to us on how to apply for Chinese citizenship.”
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