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Glenn Beck thinks (about China) outside the reality box

“Whether it’s true or not … no longer matters” - Glen Beck

Glenn hasn’t been studying his diagram:


If you want to criticize anyone for woolly thinking about anything, Glenn Beck is very, very low-hanging fruit. We should all just ignore him and hope he goes away. But, like everyone else, I have finally succumbed to temptation.

Shanghaiist (with video) and China Hearsay have both pointed out some of the places where the Beckster’s brain might have lost its way during its recent ponderings about China.

Let’s not dwell on Glenn’s claim that a plastic hamster on a surfboard in Burger King is “Chinese culture”. We’ll move straight on to the first piece in his “puzzle” about China and United States: the headline “China Passes U.S. As World’s Top Car Market”.

What does that say to me? That says to me, like this [picks up plastic hamster], that if they’re the top buyer of cars it is going to be their choice - we get the secondary models. That’s just the way it is. They’re the top buyer. They get first crack at it.

Well, that must be true, mustn’t it. After all, look at Monaco. With its population of less than 33,000, Monaco must be one of the smallest car markets in the world. Therefore, it goes without saying that it is absolutely impossible for a Monacan to buy a new Ferrari, Lamborghini or Rolls Royce. Did you ever wonder what happened to all those rattling, brakeless, soot-belching taxis that Beijing got rid of before the Olympics? They’re all in Monaco.

We can extend this ironclad logic (whether it’s true or not no longer matters) to toilets. With its 1.3 billion population, China must have more places to crap than almost any other country in the world. So they certainly must have the first crack at the best models. Like this one in Chongqing perhaps:


Now, that toilet might not look very pretty. But as Chinese living standards rise it will increasingly become a thing of the past, replaced by new, shiny, state-of-the-art lavatories. What will this mean for America? Well, my Yankee friends, there won’t be any flush toilets left for you because, like all the cars, the Chinese will have bought them all. You’re all going to have to empty your bowels into a smelly hole in the ground at the end of the street. It’s plain, simple economics. As Glenn Beck says, “that’s just the way it is”.

And that pretty much sums up the whole of his theory on China’s rise and how it will affect the American way of life.


  1. pug_ster wrote:

    You ever hear of the saying “If you repeat a lie 100 times, it becomes the truth?” Looks like Glenn Beck is pretty effective in telling the ‘truth.’

    Thursday, January 20, 2011 at 4:32 pm | Permalink
  2. Dan wrote:

    I would say don’t take Beck too literally. His comments are not about China per se; they are about America. China is the latest incarnation of the bogeyman to push through the political and economic reforms on Beck’s agenda.

    Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 6:15 am | Permalink

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